Monday, April 25, 2016

Dirty Little Secret

My daughter eats like she has LPLD.  Because it's what keeps her healthy.  Because she has LPLD.

But me?  I don't.

For some reason, I imagine that in other families with a child with LPLD, the whole family eats like they have LPLD.  But we don't.
Foreground: LPL safe cake.  Background: fat-filled cake.  And a small child's hand going for the frosting that I did not notice while taking the picture.  Ha!

We sometimes all eat the same thing, like pasta primavera, or a chicken stir fry, or my husband's amazing orange chicken (once I nail down how he makes it, I'll post it!).

But most meals?  Not so much.  We'll start cooking all the same way, but then at the part where we add cream or butter, we'll pull Monica's portion out (or enough for Monica's meal plus leftovers for her), and do something slightly different with it.

So the recipes I include on this blog are what I do with Monica's portion, but it's not what I always eat myself.  I feel guilty admitting this to you, dear readers, especially, because for the most part I try to be really upbeat about this diagnosis - it's not so hard!  Look at all the things you CAN eat!  And it's controllable by diet, without weird medications with crazy side effects, how lovely!  And so I feel like I'm cheating you, since it might not be ALL bad, but it's certainly hard enough that I don't personally eat an LPLD diet.  Sometimes I'll even add fat to the rest of the family's food more than what it really needs, especially Mary's, since she doesn't have LPLD and because fat is a necessary part of nutrition, and I worry Mary doesn't always get enough of it.

Even with Monica sometimes I feel like the goal of cooking is to put as much fat as she can handle into her food (which isn't much), and to make sure it's as tastey and nutritious as physically possible so she get's it all!  That's why we do grass-fed meat, wild caught fish, expensive butter, and coconut oil; it's not entirely that I'm a food snob!  When Monica DOES get to eat fat, it's going to have all the essential fatty acids and fat-soluble vitamins that I can find!

As for my husband, Mary, and me, we eat a pretty normal-fat diet.  I don't think Monica feels left out or separate from us, since our food generally looks similar, but it does cross my mind that if I were the best possible mother, I would eat exactly what she does.  But that's not realistic.  Monica is different, and she will be eating differently for the rest of the life.  Pretending her diet isn't different will make me feel better now, but it won't develop the coping skills that she needs to have for the rest of her life.  It sure hurts momma to see your baby developing coping skills, though!

In addition, I have been breastfeeding and/or pregnant every day of Monica's life, and I need fat for my babies.  It's not good for me to be on a drastically low fat diet just for me to feel better about Monica not feeling left out, as that would hurt my other children.  (I will always be curious as to whether a baby with LPLD that is in utero can somehow process and obtain fats in a way that the baby can't after that umbilical cord is cut... I'll let you know if I find an answer to that!)

So, that's my confession.  All the recipes that I post here are pretty tastey and awesome, but they are not what I eat myself all the time.  I don't post the fatty things that I eat because I want anyone with LPLD to feel welcome here, and not exposed to references to tastey things they are trying to avoid.  So, bring on the angel food cake!  Yum!!

1 comment:

  1. That is such an interesting question about LPLD babies in utero!